2020 truly was a traumatic year. Now in the new year, a shift from one day to the next, my mind is buzzing and emotions move through my body. At times I find myself angry, frustrated and stressed, and unable to put my finger on where those feelings come from. Then I remember what happened in 2020 and I relax a bit. I am not mental, 2020 was rough and now I am processing it, coming to terms with it, letting it catch up.

A while ago when I tried out new make up products. <3

Tahini Vegetables with Sweet Potato Noodles

Ingredients

  • 1/2 half sweet potato
  • 2 carrots
  • 1 bell pepper
  • 1/2 leek
  • 2 cm piece of ginger
  • 6 cloves of garlic
  • Cooking oil
  • Sweet potato noodles
  • Sesame seeds for topping
  • A lime for topping

Use whatever vegetables you happen to have at home. Just take their individual cooking time into consideration. Also, when I cook I make sure to have a variety of colors. 🙂

Ingredients.

Ingredients for sauce

  • 1 tbsp tahini
  • 1 tbsp miso paste
  • 1 tsp honey
  • 2 tbsp soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp sesame oil
  • 1 tsp dijon mustard
  • 2 tbsp lime juice
  • A pinch of salt
  • A dash of black pepper
Ingredients for the sauce.

Directions for vegetables

Peel and chop all vegetables.

With a bit of oil, salt and pepper, put the sweet potato in the oven at 200° for about 40 minutes. Make sure to mix them every ten minutes. When they are soft all the way through take them out of the oven and set them aside.

Oven roasted sweet potato.

In a large skillet, fry the vegetables on medium heat. Start with the vegetables that need the most time to be cooked. When all vegetables have been added, add in the garlic so that it will be finished at the same time as the vegetables but not get burnt.

Fry the vegetables, start out with the ones that need the most time to cook.
All vegetables added to the skillet except for the sweet potato.

Then add in the sweet potato to the skillet and mix all vegetables together carefully.

All vegetables added to the skillet, and some sesame seeds because I could not wait.

Directions for sauce

In a mixing bowl, add the tahini, miso paste, and honey and mix well. Add the soy sauce, sesame oil, and lime juice little by little and mix well. Add salt and black pepper. Mix and taste test until you are satisfied.

Mixing the sauce.
Sauce mixed.

Pour the sauce over the vegetables and mix so that all vegetables get covered with the wonderful sauce. Taste test. 🙂

All vegetables, the sauce and some more sesame seeds.

Directions for assembly

Cook your noodles and strain them.

Sweet potato noodles.
Cooked sweet potato noodles. I think they are so beautiful.

In a bowl, add in the noodles and vegetables, topp with sesame seeds and a slice of lime. 🙂

Pipe Dreaming

I do not remember when this was, but I remember it was in the winter and Sweden had not had a single hour of sunshine in more than a month. Exiting the plane in Oslo for a short stopover, the sun made my eyes hurt, and I thought to myself “This is where the sun was hiding”.

Recalling that feeling of being in motion, having a mission that pulls you forward, that pulse it gives you, that rhythm in your step, and direction. The excitement of things to come, the adventure ahead, and as you move the energy increase. The idea is almost sweeter than reality.

All that has been dreamed up and planned for coming together. The taxi arranged and the rooms booked across the world. Exiting the plane and you are hit by a wall of humidity and the smell of hot asphalt, and you realize that you had forgotten how heat felt. Then the walk through a foreign airport, the meandering corridors, and seeing other travelers through the glass you wonder “Where have I landed? And where are they going?”. With so many new impressions filtering through you you begin to wonder if you are new as well.

Time is weird. Age is too. I just realized today is my birthday. The number insinuates that I am old, but I do not feel old at all. Maybe my idea of time and age is incorrect. Maybe my expectations on what my years should have included differ from reality so much I do not feel my age. However, there are days I feel twice my age.

It is poisonous, I know, but parallel to me on a non-interrupted track runs a version of me that has not had any of the difficulties that I have had. No deaths and no sickness, no abandonment and no depression, no scattered self-esteem and self-confidence. She has been what I have not, and she is what I am not. She is a fantasy. She is not me and I will never be her. In her presence I can only see the divergence, the gap between us I have to fill with accomplishments to reach her. No matter how I try she is always ahead of me.

Why do I allow her to be around? What does she provide? Who would I be without her? My predetermined idea of who I should have been, should be and become compresses me. It is time to let her go.

Oatmeal with Chia Seeds and Coconut

A reminder of easy basics.

What is healthy is of course individual and also changes over time. Now with the dark and cold of January, a warm breakfast is what I prefer. 🙂

Ingredients

  • 2 dl coconut milk
  • 1 dl rolled oats
  • 1 tbsp chia seeds
  • 1 tbsp shredded coconut
  • A pinch of salt
  • 1 banana as toppings
  • Blackberries as toppings

Directions

Put the milk, oats, chia seeds, shredded coconut, and salt in a saucepan. Cook at low heat with the lid on. Stir occasionally until it has turned into a smooth and creamy porridge.

Pour into a bowl and add the toppings.

Days Around the House

Days of going to bed late, waking up late. A sort of hibernation. Doing almost nothing. Doing small things that in fact are the big things, when you think about it. Those simple things that suddenly can turn into the hard things, those that you did not notice until they were taken and so then also cherished. And you wished, just one more.

One of the rare sunny days in December.
The house.
Face paint.
Practice.