Compass

The other day I realized that what constitutes our inner compass, gut feeling or intuition if you will, are our self-esteem and self-confidence in combination with self-regard and respect. Of course this is a simplified version, and there are so much more affecting us, but it’s a staring point and it got me thinking. 🙂

My idea of self-esteem is that you know yourself; all that you are; personality traits and behaviors; how you work; your worth and values. It is about who you are as a person, at your core, and you do not have to prove anything to anyone. This brings a certain calm to the person.

Self-confidence on the other hand is your belief in your own ability to figure things out, your ability to perform and tackle the unknown, and do so with trust in yourself. It is about your actions and your own, as well as other people’s, feedback on what you do. People with good self-confidence has a certain assertiveness to them, and if they have good self-esteem as well they don’t go around bragging. 😉

When you know who you are and when you believe in that person it is of course easier to respect her too. You know what you need, how you function the best, and you know where you stand. You understand your needs and values and so you can communicate them to others too, tell them “Here is my line, don’t cross it” and so you help others respect you.

At times our self-esteem plummet, our self-confidence get a few cracks and so we start to tremble. Of course we get lost at Life’s vast sea. Our compass broke! To rebuild takes time. We all know we just want to move ahead but without the work our steps forward won’t be the right steps, the constructive steps that actually will move us ahead in the right direction from a longterm point of view. So we should be kind with ourselves and have patience when we tremble. <3 And in extension in this state we might be questioning ourselves, finding new answers and reevaluating. It is a process that needs time and energy, and in the long run it will make us stand more stable and when we move we will do so with that calm we have seen and longed for in others. At least I believe so. 🙂

I write in this manner to motivate myself too, to at least sound certain because that is what I need to read myself. When I write I go over the text at least ten times. By that tenth time I have taken in my own message. When I write in this manner I call upon my certain side, my wise and calm side who knows and who trust in Life and its process. And maybe also in me. 😉

To take the car to the bakery together, to be embraced by the wonderful scent of freshly baked goods and coffee, to listen to other people’s Saturdays treats and hangover cures, to watch the barista make espressos and the noice of milk being foamed, to watch the bakers behind the class wall put in another tray of croissants into the large oven, to watch a family have breakfast together, the kids enjoying their breakfast sourdough rolls with thick slices of cheese, and to be handed a large paper bag with yet lukewarm bread and pastries. It all makes my soul smile. <3

Letter to Mum

Ta med dig något
Från där du varit
Så att jag vet att du var där
Och att du är här nu,
Tillbaka nu

Berätta hur det var,
Berätta vad du såg
Och vad du kände
Berätta det som en saga
Så att det redan är fjärran

Kom tillbaka från där du är
Berätta hur det var,
Vad det hette och varför du for
Kom tillbak till mig nu
Jag vet inte var du är

//

Bring something with you
From where you have been
So that I know you where there
And that you are here now,
Back now

Tell me how it was,
Tell me what you saw
And what you felt
Tell it like a tale
So that it already is distant

Come back from where you are
Tell me how it was,
What it was called and why you left
Come back to me now
I do not know where you are

North of Sweden, on film.
North of Sweden, on film.

Too little sleep in November, catching up in December. That rare afternoon sun. Disappearing across the water before the day has begun. Morning coffee at two. Inhaling the quiet, the dust in mid air. Telling myself not to care. A rower cuts the water, double image paired with the trees, now here and then gone. Lawn crispy. Deer traces set in the cold. Walking my feet warm. A smile for a stranger. The dusk creeps closer until it is here, time to settle my dear.