They argue with each other, the strict and the soft side, the obligations and the emotions collide. At present time the soft is only a whisper. But I can feel it changing, the weight shifting. The soft approaching, getting closer, and the strict finally backing down. Either or, all or nothing, tunnel vision and laser focus. The methods I used before do not apply anymore. Instead I strive for balance, but it makes me feel like I am fooling myself. But I keep on trying, implementing the behaviors that I somewhere in me know are right. I aim to be reasonable with myself and the responsibilities I take on, and so to learn my own balance, what makes me stable, how I like to stand.