I wrote this text in 2016 but did not know where to put it.
The first step to change is awareness. If you are not aware, how could you possibly know you want to or need to change something in your life or about yourself? It is impossible. Begin with taking some time to observe yourself. In each given moment you have the opportunity to do so. Notice your thoughts that appear, notice how they change, what kind of thoughts they are and notice how they make you feel. Notice what thoughts are the most common for you, listen to them, notice what they say, and maybe you can track them back in time to an event, an experience you previously had. Let the thoughts be in your mind. Don’t try to push them away or shut them out. Let them be where they are. As everything else they too shall pass.
When you have got a picture of the kind of inner dialogue you have with yourself begin to expand your awareness to how you feel during your days and how these different feelings affect you, and how they make you act. Notice your feelings and notice how they pull you in a certain direction. Notice your thoughts that trigger specific feelings, and how they make you act because of that.
Now, with more awareness you need to include clarity. Ask yourself how you want your inner dialogue to be and sound like, what person do you want to be for yourself, and what kind of inner dialoge would support you the best? Then ask yourself how you want to feel during your days, what your ideal state would be and how you, in different situations can choose to get closer to this state. Then look at your behaviors and actions, do you behave as you wish you did, do these behaviors represent the person you want to be and do they take you in the direction you want to go?
When you have started to ask yourself these kind of questions, started to think about who you are in your life and to yourself, and how you affect yourself then, if there is something you want to change, it will soon surface.